Part of the Family Services team, Family Advocates provide case management to all families enrolled in Our House programs. To help others understand the important role Family Advocates play, we talked with Daphney Davis (left) and Christine Chandler (right) about their experience working at Our House’s shelter in Atlanta.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity. Header photo by Raven Whavers.

What led you to Our House?

Daphney: I’ve always worked with children and families, it’s just the titles were different. Previously, I worked as an investigator for DFCS [Division of Family & Children Services] for four years, and then I worked with CHRIS 180 as a Care Coordinator for two years, before coming to Our House.

At CHRIS 180, I was going to clients’ homes and the travel became a lot. So I decided to apply to Our House, thinking I still wanted to work in the same arena but without the travel. I admit, I had no idea what working at a homeless shelter would be like, and had real doubts. But I interviewed and got a tour, and I was like, “Oh my God, I love it here. This is where I want to be.” I decided that moment that I was going to do everything I could to get this job. And luckily I’m here! I’ve been here now for a little over two years.

Christine: I was originally a pre-K teacher in Alabama and then I just felt a calling to nonprofits. So I decided, “I’m going to move to Atlanta where it’s bigger.” I found this job on Work for Good, started as an intern in December 2019, and then became the Program Assistant. Then this spring they offered me the Family Advocate position. I’ve been in this role for about two months.

What are common misconceptions other people have about your work?

Daphney: When many people hear that I work at a homeless shelter, it’s clear their only conception of people experiencing homelessness are people they see at a distance on the side of the road. But homelessness doesn’t look one way, and the people we serve have many different experiences.

Christine: When people hear I work at a homeless shelter, I think they assume that people who are experiencing homelessness are lazy, that they haven’t gone out and tried to help themselves and improve their lives. What I’ve seen from working here is that is just not the case.

Many people go through a lot of things that compound, one on top of the other, and then they can’t get out of their situation. They are trying their best, but so much has hurt them and so much is stacked against them.

People are truly unaware of what other people can go through.

The community I’m from is fairly privileged. So I had always heard growing up, like, “Why are those people homeless? They just need to go out and get a job.” Super ignorant statements like that. People are truly unaware of what other people can go through. I wish that would change.

Daphney: I would agree. It’s a community-wide problem. And it’s not race-related, either. Because anyone that I have ever told about my work tends to blame the people experiencing homelessness. Asking things like, “What did they do to be homeless?” What they don’t know is mental health plays such a intimate role in homelessness. It even took me time to realize that myself, even while working in this field.

Beyond mental health, are there other factors that contribute consistently?

Daphney: Lack of social networks. Generational poverty and trauma. Having worked at DFCS, when a lot of children turn 18, they are ready to be done with the system because they may have had a bad experience and because they’re 18 – you know, “I’m 18 years old, I’m fully grown, I’m ready to go.” So even though DFCS offers housing assistance, school, and other support until they’re about 24, they don’t take advantage of that.

So you have these young people that go out into the world without the structure or guidance they need. They have no idea on how to get or maintain a job or an apartment, and no one to guide them. And if they have children, that’s an added barrier. It’s very, very tough.

Could you walk us through your work day? What time do you get up, when do you start getting emails?

*Laughter*

Christine: We get emails around the clock! It doesn’t matter what day it is. It doesn’t matter what time it is.

I get here and I start answering all those emails I’ve gotten throughout the night. Either I’ll go to a client’s room and talk with them in-person or send them resources through email based on their questions. That lasts until at least 11:00 am, just finding resources and answering emails and talking to different people.

Daphney: Then we typically have a Zoom meeting. We partner with a lot of other organizations, and our partners frequently want to connect and share summaries of what they’re doing. So we take part to see how we can implement what they’re doing into our system to help our clients.

Other things we do include emails to make sure the shelter is serving the most people it can, seeing which families have applied and where the need is. Once we’ve identified new families, we explain to them the process to get in and review their documents. We help place their children in childcare, and give them supplies. We get a lot of emails from partners as well, with housing and resources, that we then send out to clients.

Finally, we follow up constantly to see how our clients are doing. We’re scheduling weekly meetings with shelter clients, or calling parents in enrolled in ECE. You’ll also see us in the lobby talking to families as they’re picking up their kids or coming home for the day.

It’s really important for us to keep up with our families’ progress and keep our files maintained. We have three databases that we have to enter data notes and track information. So we work hard to keep those current, as well as our paper files.

Christine: We also have a lot of clients stopping by because the clients at the shelter are constantly in need. They’re just at the beginning of their journey of not being homeless. So they’re stopping in… I mean, 10 times a day, or so, for different requests.

With homelessness, there comes a lot of shame and families not wanting to be transparent. The only way we can really help them is if they feel comfortable sharing with us all of their needs.

Daphney: And we’re a good resource! For example, if someone needs supplies, needs diapers or milk, we stop what we’re doing to get them what they need. We are always on, always running. I personally try to get here about 8:30 and I typically don’t leave till about 5:30, maybe 6:00. Evenings are really important, like after 4:00 pm, because that’s when all of our families are here and I can talk to them.

If they’re having dinner, I may come down and eat with them and play with the children. Because building rapport is key. We want our families to know that we are truly their advocates, that we’re completely in their corner. With homelessness, there comes a lot of shame and families not wanting to be transparent. The only way we can really help them is if they feel comfortable sharing with us all of their needs, because we get a lot of families that initially are like, “Oh, everything is fine. I just need this small thing.”

Then a crisis we never knew was brewing happens! And then they need us immediately. So building rapport helps us stay ahead, and is one of the biggest things I do daily.

Christine: That’s so true about the rapport. That’s one of my favorite things about this job, when my clients can come into my office and just sit and talk with me. They know that I really want to help and that I know they’re trying their best. That’s something special about the job that I love.

What advice would you have for someone new to the Family Advocate role?

Daphney: One of my pieces of coaching to Christine is to set boundaries. Hold clients accountable, and get clear on what you’re going to do for them and what they need to do for themselves. In the past – and I still struggle with this – I would always do everything for my clients. I’m going to call this person, I’m going to do this for you, I’ll handle that.

Then I realized, “Oh my God, my clients don’t know how to do things if I’m not there.” So now I give them instructions on how to do things. I’ll say, “Go do it, follow back up with me. If you need my help, I will help you, but I’m not going to do it for you.” Because I realize I won’t be part of their lives forever. So I want to do what I can now to help them to feel confident in themselves, to give them the support they need to make their own smart choices and decisions.

The other thing is to have patience and find this patience the best way you can. Understand that everybody has a different experience in their life, no two people are the same. Don’t take it personal when families don’t jump on board with your plan. Instead, ask them for their plan, help them figure out what they want and need, and then offer suggestions and tips to help them achieve it.

What are you most proud of in your work at Our House?

Christine: I’ve only been a Family Advocate for two months, so I’m going to let Daphney talk the most. But what I’ve seen from being even at the front desk, is clients coming back in and you can just tell they have more confidence in themselves.

When I walk into the lobby and see someone I’ve helped there, whose children are happy and their family is thriving – that’s the pride I take in this.

Daphney: I agree. For me that’s where I get the joy from. When I walk into the lobby and see someone I’ve helped there, whose children are happy and their family is thriving – that’s the pride I take in this. Because it is hard work.

It is hard because we were dealing with so many different personalities, lifestyles, and challenges, and it can be mentally draining. I can leave here and get in my car and I don’t want to hear anything from anyone. But when I see even one of my clients happier, and making strides towards a better future, I feel grateful and proud to do this work.

Thank you both for sharing your story!